So I’ve been trying to do some soul searching lately .. The last few months everything seems to have changed. Some things for better and some things for worse.
I expressed maybe 1 of my endlesssss amounts of concerns to a stoner friend the other night… And he actually gave me incredible advice.
He just said, ‘Elle, it sounds like you need to do some soul searching..’
I replied, ‘Well I wouldn’t even know where to start…’
He then decided he was too tanked to continue talking and needed to sleep. But this has really stuck with me, and without trying too hard I think I am getting somewhere, even if slowly. The last two weeks I’ve tried to spend without boys… My housemates are right, theres too many to keep track of. And I don’t like that. But I genuinely just do get excited at new prospects. But its starting to become clear that these ‘boys’ are only lasting a matter of weeks .. If that.
Apart from the fact that these short lived relationships are getting me nowhere in the long run, I should stand back and figure out why I’m doing this and why nothing is happening for me.
I think I’m obvioulsy not being selective enough… Or maybe too selective?
I really don’t know anymore.
But I know that I am really unhappy with some parts of myself. There is so much that I want to change and improve on. And I don’t think that’s a bad thing… I think it’s a good thing to want to improve yourself, and I think that’s something we should always want to do. We should constantly strive to make ourselves better.
However I’m just concerned that I’m worried about fixing the wrong things :(
